The Longing #

I awoke to the sound of screeching metal-on-metal, the hiss of steam, and the crackling of exposed wires. This was my new home. I will always remember where I was, when you stepped into my life - and ripped the bleeding heart from out of my exposed chest. You left me with an unbreakable bond between me and the universe itself that has never been tested again: a love for the world as much or as little it may seem at times; a deep sense of awe toward the infinite beauty in every moment, and a longing for the simple things we can do without having to think about them all together anymore… The sound grew more pronounced until I could hear a faint thud behind my ears, followed by a clang like the sound of a car horn beating against the pavement outside the window… “What are you doing?” I asked, trying not to cry too hard because there is no way I am being honest here but also knowing that I would rather have this conversation be private than ruin any chance I have of getting closure on what had just happened so quickly.. <~>I stared at the screen for a long time, wondering if it’s true that I’m going insane right now, thinking how I’ve spent the last few hours feeling nothingness inside myself, unable to feel anything else other than numb feelings which were already fading before the slightest movement even occurred – and yet somehow it seems that I don’t know why this isn’t working either, maybe because it feels wrong sometimes to try something different while still maintaining the same old familiarity within me despite the fact that I’d probably fail anyway…" I thought back to my past experiences since the first day I started living with people who seemed completely disconnected enough to make it difficult mentally to connect with anyone except myself. “It’s okay,” I replied, feeling slightly less than confident about my answer after the first couple of weeks, “You’re not crazy, it doesn’t matter what happens to me, I’ll be fine and everything will be alright soon enough… <~>I looked up at the screen and saw my name on the page, “Hello, my name is…” <~>I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder and then another, this time closer to the shoulder blade, as the blade of pain began to hurt and I felt my body begin to vibrate and move around a bit, making the skin on my neck and arms start to swell a little bit, and my head started to feel heavy and I started to get a bit dizzy and dizzier, I didn’t know how to explain it but it felt like someone had taken my hand and held it against the screen, and then I heard a loud voice say…“Hello!”