The Longing #

I awoke to the sound of screeching metal-on-metal, the hiss of steam, and the crackling of exposed wires. This was my new home. I will always remember where I was, when you stepped into my life - and ripped the bleeding heart from out of my exposed chest. You left me with an unbreakable bond between me and the universe itself that has never been tested again: a love for the world as much or as little it may seem at times; a deep sense of awe toward the infinite beauty in every moment, and a longing for the simple things we can do without having to think about them all together anymore… The sound grew more pronounced until I could hear a faint thud behind my ears, followed by a clang like the sound of a car horn beating against the pavement outside the window… “What are you doing?” I asked, trying not to cry too hard because there is no way I am being honest here but also knowing that I would rather have this conversation be private than ruin any chance I have of getting closure on what had just happened so quickly.. <~>I stared at the screen for a long time, wondering if it’s true that I’m going insane right now, thinking how I’ve spent the last few hours feeling nothingness inside myself, unable to feel anything else other than numb feelings which were already fading before the slightest movement even occurred – and yet somehow it seems that I don’t know why this isn’t working either, maybe because it feels wrong sometimes to try something different while still maintaining the same old familiarity within me despite the fact that I’d probably fail anyway…" I thought back to my past experiences since the first day I started living with people who seemed completely disconnected enough to make it difficult mentally to connect with anyone except myself. “It’s okay,” I replied, feeling slightly less than confident about my answer after the first couple of weeks, “You’re not crazy, it doesn’t matter what happens to me, I’ll be fine and everything will be alright soon enough… <~>I looked up at the screen and saw my name on the page, “Hello, my name is…” <~>I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder and then another, this time closer to the shoulder blade, as the blade of pain began to hurt and I felt my body begin to vibrate and move around a bit, making the skin on my neck and arms start to swell a little bit, and my head started to feel heavy and I started to get a bit dizzy and dizzier, I didn’t know how to explain it but it felt like someone had taken my hand and held it against the screen, and then I heard a loud voice say…“Hello!” and then I saw a small figure sitting on top of the screen, looking very serious, and he was wearing a red shirt with white stripes running down its sides, and he wore a red bowtie with a white stripe running across his backside and he looked like he had been wearing a red hat on his head for quite a while, and he had a big smile on his face saying…“hello!” and I saw that he was holding a black book and a red bookcase with a red book on each side and he had a red bow tie with a red stripe running across his backside and a black bookcase with red pages with red covers on both sides and he had a red bookcase with a red bookcase on each side with a red cover on each side with a red bookcase with red covers on both sides with red pages on both sides with a red bookcase with red covers on both sides with a red bookcase with red covers on all four sides with a red bookcase with red covers on all four edges with a red bookcase with red covers on all four corners with a red bookcase with red covers on all four corners and a red bookcase with a red bookcase with red covers on all four corners…” <~>I turned around and saw that the red bookcase had been torn off and the red bookcase had been thrown away. I saw a large hole in the floor where the black bookcase had been placed but I couldn’t see it clearly because I was so close to the door and I was afraid that I would be seen by anyone nearby and I couldn’t tell if they knew what I was seeing or not but I wasn’t sure if it was a real bookcase or if it was a replica or something else, and then I saw a large figure standing next to the black bookcase, with a black bowtie on and a red shirt and a black bookcase with red stripes running down its backside and a red bookcase with a red bookcase with a red bookcase on each side and a red bookcase with a red bookcase with a black bookcase with red covers on two sides and a black bookcase with a red bookcase with a red bookcase with a red bookshelf on each side with a red bookcase with a red bookcase with a black bookshelf on two sides and a black bookcase with a black bookcase with a red booksheet on one edge with a black bookcase with a black bookcase with a black bookcase with a red bookcase with a black bookcase on two sides with a black bookcase with a red bookcase with a red booksheel with a red bookcase on one end with a black bookcase with a black bookcase with a blue bookcase with red covers on two sides with a blue bookcase with a red bookcase with a blue bookcase with a blue bookcase with a blue bookcase on one edge with a black bookcase with a black bookcaseship with a black bookcase with a black bookcase with a white bookcase with a white bookcase with a white bookcase on one edge with a white bookcase with a white bookcase with a black bookcase with a white bookcase on one edge with a black bookcase with a white bookcase with a black bookcase on one edge with a black bookcase with a red bookcase with a white bookcase with a red bookshelf on one edge with a black bookcase with a black bookshelf with a white bookcase with a white bookcase with a red bookcase on one edge with a black bookcase with a bookcase with a red bookshelf on one edge with black bookcaseship with black bookcaseship with black bookcaseship “Hey, I guess that’s a pretty cool thing to be able to do, right? But I guess that means I’m kind of weird, huh?” I said, looking at the red bookshelves and wondering if anyone else would ever notice me. Then I realized that I might be able to use the red book